What’s to Forgive?

A while back in my life, I figured out that I was holding a lot of grudges.  I held grudges against people who had “done me wrong,” people who didn’t “return the favor,” people who had “let me down,” or otherwise didn’t meet my expectations.  I’d be annoyed at people who had “hurt me” and even people people who had “asked my advice” and then didn’t use it.  When I stopped to think about it, I was holding a LOT of grudges.  Then I realized that holding all those grudges was keeping me miserable, while the people I held the grudges against were clueless and unaffected.  I was suffering — they were not.  So one day, I unilaterally forgave EVERYONE who’d ever “caused me pain.”

It wasn’t until later, when I was talking to one of my guides, that I realized there was one person I hadn’t forgiven for letting me down.  Me! It is amazing the grudges we hold against ourselves.  We blame ourselves for all manner of things, constantly kick ourselves when we’re down, we keep throwing “old” things up into our own faces.  If you don’t believe me, just listen to your self talk — that little voice in your head that’s always talking.  Once I forgave myself… things really started changing for me, and I was able to perform… and excel.  What about you? 

“Of all the people on your list that you need to forgive…
place yourself as number 1”

It’s that important.  Even if you don’t think you’re holding that grudge, forgive yourself anyway... and give yourself permission to move forward with life.  You’ll feel the change… and it will be good.
Have an awesome day.
P.S.  You also post your thoughts on this topic on our Intensively Positive FB page at:
https://www.facebook.com/intenselypositive and  join the conversation.

Kelvin Ringold

Born to John and Lora Ringold on October 24, 1953, grew up, went to school, graduated high school and joined the Air Force -- turned 18 in basic training. Did 20 years in the Air Force and retired in 1991. Moved to Syracuse, worked at University Hospital and retired from there at 55. During that 55 years... I learned some lessons, one of which is that LIFE is what we make it. I spend a major portion of my waking hours helping other people figure out the same thing. Life is what we make of it, and... "when you master your mindset, you master your life." That's my mission: living it, and teaching it.


  • Several years ago I discovered the insidious voice in my head that was dishing out the put-downs. I was able to counteract that by answering positively until it stopped…yet every once in awhile I catch the negative thing trying again. It is an on going exercise. As for forgiving others? I am either getting better at it or weary of being ticked. :) My writing has been cathartic and fun. I have made my own world and deal with this world’s issues in my own way in that universe.

  • Very nice post Mr. Ringold. I have to admit that I tend to hold onto grudges for a very long time, and that really doesn’t suit me well. Luckily, I don’t have a lot of them because I like to think I choose those who I’ll interact with very well. But you’re right, often you find that you’re the only one who’s mad at something and thus you’ve wasted a lot of energy on a one-sided “mad”. It’s good to work on overcoming, but man is it hard. :-)

    • True enough!!! and you’ll remember that ONE (restaurant) that I had held even longer than YOU, and certainly that’s not my style. I believe that I have learned better since that time. I’m not holding any now and hopefully it will remain so. Of course, I always have you to remind me of my words… when needed :-) Thanks for the comment.

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